So. I've just realized that it's almost January. Shit. I'm filled with the need to see you again. It's been so long since the last time I saw you, and I need that. Why don't you come see me? I've made some progress, you'll be glad to hear. However, knowing the answer and knowing how to get to that answer are not the same thing. I need my spirituality back. The things I believe in are such an important part of who I am and what we were together, and I just let it go with you. In the beginning it wasn't conscious. I just couldn't think about anything. Then I was angry. So angry that I was blind to any of the good that comes from spirituality. Without you I just didn't see the point. Then I began to realize that I wasn't being true to who I am...I had to chose a path. That led me to the biggest obstacle yet. For years I've chosen to ignore this area of my life. I chose to 'forget' about my spirit, and the spirits. I had begun to worry about choosing the right path. I didn't care about the path that led me down the road suited to myself and the things that I believe are important in this life. I had begun to worry instead on choosing the path that would be correct for whatever "God" may be the decider of what happens to me when I die. I don't want to do something that is going to send me somewhere separated from you. So, I stopped doing anything. Well here we are on the verge of another anniversary and I have to change it. I have to get back to my spirit. I'm hopeful that this will help me feel more connected to you too, until we see each other again. I can't worry about where that will be anymore. I finally realized that I don't need to anyway. You'll find me. So, I'm gonna get back onto the path that I've always followed, the truth as I know it. I know you'll be at the end. In the meantime, would it kill you visit once in awhile? I mean seriously. Shit. I fucking hate January and February. Please come. Please.
