So, today I decided to go to EBay because it's been awhile, and I just wanted to see what I could find. WOW! There are some crazy fucked up people selling crazy fucked up shit on EBay. I feel you should check them out, for humors sake. Here we go.
Let's start out with a little something for the perverts out there.
1. Here you can buy a 3x5 index card that says you get to have one of the infamous 73 virgins upon your death. Cost? $10!! That's right, $10 for an index card. No bids at the moment... Shocking.
2. Here you can buy used dryer sheets from the Playboy Mansion. A. Nasty. B. Yeah right. However, when you go there the guy has the whole story about how the priceless dryer sheets came to be in his possession. It's gross. Cost? 49.99. Again, no bids currently. Thank God.
3. Here a "naughty" girl is auctioning off a "secret" that she's just dying to tell you. Yep. You're bidding on a SECRET. Now what makes this one different than the first two, is that this one has bids. Lots of them. 22 to be exact. 22 PERVERTS HAVE BID TO HEAR THIS SKANKS SECRET! Currently the bid is up to ........drumroll.....$71!!! wow.
Moving on. Of course there are always the "Jesus" items.
1. Here is where you can buy a piece of wood some little boy found that has Jesus' face on it. There are currently 4 bids, and the current cost is $4.00. So, act now if you're interested. : D
2. My personal favorite is here. This is where you can buy, for the current price of $4.99 (there is one bidder at the moment... ?!) an unused pregnancy test that has the face of Jesus in the urine well. That's right. A pee stick with the face of Christ. Now, personally I don't see the face, at all. However, the seller "guarantees" that you'll see it when you get it, or you get your money back. What a deal! I highly recommend you check this out. LOL!
And last, but not least, here are some random ones I found.
1. Here you can find a Frosted Flake with a skull face on it. Cost, $4.00. Although, I can say, I see the skull in it.
2. Here you can buy a small blob... Oh excuse me... I mean a piece of "art" made out of multi-colored mini marshmallows. My favorite part of this one is all in the description. The marshmallows aren't glued together, just stuck together. They will be shipped that way, and of course they are not responsible for any damage to the "art" in shipping. So, basically, you're bidding $0.99 (opening price... No bids yet? hmm.) for a box of hard marshmallows. However, they also point out that these flavored, colored mini marshmallows are really hard to find in some areas. LOL
3. Last, but not least: Here you can buy a small dog stuffed animal for the current price of $3.95. There are currently 4 other bidders you'll have to contend with though, so good luck. Now what is funny about this one is the seller and why he is selling this nasty little dog. You really need to check it out for the full story, but long story short, he has nasty scramble teeth and wants to get them fixed. So, he's trying to get $1100.00! Yep. He's hoping to sell a mini stuffed animal for $1100.00. He's included a picture of his teeth on the site so we know he's not just making it all up. Also, the winning bidder will receive a picture of his teeth, if wanted, and a copy of his dentist bill after the work is done. In addition, if for some reason his bill comes in lower than $1100.00, the winning bidder will get a refund of the difference. Because "I'm NOT looking to make any money here. I just want my teeth fixed." Now, remember, currently the bid is at $3.95 and there are only 5 days left in the auction. So, he only needs another $1096.05. I think he may have to come up with a plan B. For real, check it out. Good times.
Also, I noticed this trend of auctioning off "mystery" boxes. One guy was selling a box for $200 and "promised" there would be at least $2000 worth of stuff in it (the items were up to his choosing.) Yeah, ok. The stupid thing though is that people bid on it. Dick Heads! They deserve to be broke. So, next time you're bored, I recommend the "weird Stuff" section on eBay. All the nut jobs peddle their "goods" there.
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