Mel Gibson is losing his mind. He's not the first. It seems there are some celebrities that are just destined to flirt with sanity. South Park called it. Two years ago they ran an episode called "The Passion of the Jew". For any who haven't seen it, in light of recent events, I highly recommend it. Of course it's funny, but it showcases the beginning of Mel's dementia quite nicely. hee hee. Anyway, I have no choice now but to assign Mel a Celebrity Nut Job Rating. I feel, at this time, I'm going to assign Mel to an "Anna Nicole Smith" rating. Let me explain why.
Level 1: Whitney Houston
Whitney Houston is the lowest level of the Celebrity Nut Job Rating system. Of course who can forget Whitney's coming-out-of-the-crazy-closet performance in which she told Diane Sawyer in an interview that "I didn't do crack; crack is cheap. Crack is for poor people." aaaahhh.... Classic. Although her slip from reality is documented on "Being Bobby Brown", for the most part Whitney keeps the crazy within her own home, thus making her the lowest on the rating system. Other celebrities on the "Whitney" level are Tom Cruise, Anne Heche and Ozzy. However, his is a result of all the drugs... So it's not his fault. Ozzy fucking rules no matter what. Moving up brings us to...
Level 2: Anna Nicole Smith
The Queen of Crazy...Anna Nicole Smith. God love her... She's just out there. Love her or hate her, she sure is entertaining. From her drunken public appearances to every episode of her reality show, Anna revels in her craziness. Her insanity is right out there for everyone to see, putting her in the "news" often. The public display of crazy is why Mel has been assigned to her group. This group also includes Farah Fawcett, Elizabeth Taylor and Courtney Love of course.
All of these levels pale in comparison to highest level on the Celebrity Nut Job Rating system.
Level 3: Gary Busey
What really sets Gary apart is his complete simplicity. He's crazy. The end. However, he has NO IDEA that he is, and he doesn't even realize that other people see him as crazy. He's completely gone... And it's fascinating. Gary's son Jake once said this about his father "He's a lot different than I am. He's always telling stories about monkeys and toads and rockets. I can never understand what he's talking about." No shit. Gary Busey is the old guy sitting at the end of the bar, who's missing teeth and wants to tell you all about the connection between bus fare and the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. He believes himself a prophet, philosopher etc. Enjoy another Busey quote; "Your shadow, the dark side. C.G. Hume writes about it, in terms of the fact that every one of us has a dark side. And my dark side, my shadow, my lower companion is now in the back room blowing up balloons for kids' parties." My last bit of Busey that I'll provide is a section of an interview done with Metal Rules! Magazine (why they would interview him I have no idea, but they did. Issue #10, 2002)
Metal Rules: Do you have any last words for the readers of Metal Rules!?
Gary Busey: Yeah, the readers of Metal Rules!: please do one thing for yourself, that's have an open mind. Have a mind that's open to everything, get attached to nothing, that way you'll be free to digest the information in the magazine. They give you the point of view they're giving to you from their hearts. This is Gary Busey signing off.
MR: Have you ... Are you on the Internet?
GB: Did you hear what I just said?
MR: What's that?
GB: Did you hear what I just said?
MR: You said you were signing off does that mean you are going? (starts laughing)
GB: Huh?
MR: You said you were just signing off.
GB: No, did you hear what I just said about telling the readers of Metal Rules!?
MR: Yeah.
GB: Did you hear that?
MR: Yeah, I taped it.
GB: That didn't come from me.
MR: Who said it? (Confused giggling)
GB: That came through me.
MR: Oh, okay. (Laughing nervously)
GB: It was something that was delivered to me to say to you because that is not the way I talk.
MR: Then who just said it then?
GB: Uh-huh.
MR: Who delivered that to you?
GB: Another force in nature.
MR: You don't know who it is?
GB: Probably an angel.
Ha ha ha. Good times. I love that guy...He's fucking crazy, but he's so much fun. Daffy Bastard. Anyway, "Busey" is the ultimate. I don't want to hear shit about Michael Jackson. Michael is no longer measurable. He is no longer "one of us" if you know what I mean. So, he's out of range... He's like another world, alien type of thing now. Gary Busey is where it's at for crazy now. At the present time, Gary is the only one on his level. I don't feel that any of the nut job celebrities have really devoted themselves to "Going Busey" although honorable mention to Mickey Rourke who is really working on it. Should that change, you'll be the first to know.
In the meantime, Welcome Mel Gibson; the latest star to go fucking bonkers! You're a daffy bastard now Mel. Congrats and here's to earning your Busey badge... I know you can do it. :D
Not sure where your favorite nut job comes in on the rating system? Just let me know and I'll be glad to help.
6 comments:
BRAVO!! :clap, clap, clap:
THAT, is one of the funniest things i've read in a while.
...good times.
Sonny, it's not nice to laugh at the mentally challenged. Honestly...
Maybe someone should start some sort of Daffy Bastard sponsoring program. "For the price of a cup of coffee a day you could sponsor a crazy celebrity." I would totally do it, but I want to be able to pick out my celebrity. I don't want to end up with Flavor Flav.
if that's the case then i'm sponsoring Willie Ames...
...then every month i can get a picture and a letter from him telling me how much my support is helping him with his "weight loss"
ok, i got one for ya. He's not really a "celebrity" but i think he's crazy as shit! I mean clinicly INSANE!
Donald Rumsfeld... what catagory does he fall under?
Especially after the armed services commitee hearing last week were he said,"I've been very measured in my words, and you'd have a dickens of a time trying to find instances where I've been excessively optimistic".
Good one Cristal, I didn't cover political nut jobs. Those kind of crazies have gone "Napolean." These daffy bastards are really the same thing as the "Annas" since they are crazy in the public arena, but much more harmful due to their public office. Other Napoleans include Kim Jong Il and several of our past Presidents. Although, depending on the politcal party you belong to, which president's are debateble. For me it would be Presidents Nixon, Regan and of course good ole' George W. (Hitler is not considered as having gone "Napolean" in the same way that Michael Jackson has not gone "Busey". Hitler is in his own category that far surpasses any crazy rating on the scale.)
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