Thursday, March 30

The Worst Songs Of All Time

So VH1 aired it's "50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs", and it inspired me to make my own list because I think they missed some. It was really hard to narrow the list down to 10... But here is what I came up with.

10. Rock Lobster by The B-52's : sample lyric "We were at a party / His ear lobe fell in the deep / Someone reached in and grabbed it / It was a rock lobster." The only good thing about this song is that now the horrible CGI monster that "The Rock" becomes at the end of The Mummy now has it's own theme song.

9. We Built This City by Starship: "It's just another Sunday, in a tired old street / Police have got the choke hold, oh then we just lost the beat / Who counts the money underneath the bar / Who rides the wrecking ball in two rock guitars
"... WTF? I have no idea what they're talking about. How can the "same" band that did White Rabbit have done this song?

8. Don't Worry Be Happy by Bobby McFerren: aaaaaaaaaghhhh! This song pisses me off.

7. Heartbeat by Don Johnson: Enough said.

6. Wannabe by The Spice Girls: "If you wanna be my lover / you gotta get with my friends / Make it last forever / friendship never ends" ?! It's as if she wants him to fuck her friends...Andd that's just too much sharing.

5. Thong Song by Sisqo: I hold this song partly responsible for girls pulling their thongs up to their armpits to be sure you can see it. It's the opposite of the men's pull-my-pants-down-to-my-knees movement. Which is also bad.
4. All That She Wants by Ace of Base: This is a song about a baby-hungry woman who is on the hunt for her next baby-daddy. How sweet.
3. The Sign by Ace of Base: That's right...It'ss back-to-back Ace of Base. This song makes me die a little inside everytime I hear it.
2. Trouble by Shampoo: "Uh-Oh We're In Trouble / Something's Come Along And It's Burst Our Bubble! [Yeah Yeah!] / Uh-Oh We're In Trouble / Book Us A Ticket On The Next Space Shuttle!" The good thing about this song is that it never gets played anymore so I don't have to hear it. : D
1. Electric Boogie by Marcia Griffiths: a.k.a. The Electric Slide song... "Don't wanna lose it [It's electric Boogie woogie, woogie] / But you can't choose it [It's electric Boogie woogie, woogie] / But you know it's there, Yeah here there everywhere" As long as people get married this song will never die! It's the worst part of EVERY WEDDING THAT I HAVE EVER BEEN TO! Horrible dance + horrible song + horribly drunk wedding guests = great wedding day memories!? I don't get it. I vow that should I ever get married...Theree will be NO mother-fucking Electric Slide song! (There will also not be any Macarena...Howeverr, there will in fact be The Chicken Dance because that's just good times...Soo deal with it.)
Now, there are some songs that are horrible songs... but I can't help but love them. So, I just couldn't include them on the list. However, I wouldn't want anyone to think that I don't realize they're awful awful songs....I know they are. But I can't help it.
THE HORRIBLE SONGS I HATE TO LOVE:
I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred: can't get enough of it
Barbie Girl by Aqua: all things Barbie are good
Rico Suave by Gerardo: hee hee... Gerardo...
Macarena by Los Del Rio: good song... horrible "dance" craze.
Party All the Time by Eddie Murphy: lol... good times.
Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice: LOVE IT!
As for VH1, their Top 10 came in as follows:
10. Heart of Rock & Roll - Huey Lewis and The News
9. Don't Worry Be Happy - Bobby McFerren
8. She Bangs - Ricky Martin
7. Party All The Time - Eddie Murphy
6. Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something
5. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
4. Rollin - Limp Bizkit
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung
2. Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus
1. We Built This City - Starship

1 comment:

Sonny said...

hey!....

I like rock lobster!

...then again, i like professional wrestling too.